Seldom I feel good about myself. I am not born with perfection or conditions that naturally make myself proud. I know I have flaws and there's time I even reject myself.
These days my heart has broken in some way- by disappointment, fear, rejection and ridicule. Everyday I try very hard to shape myself to be the one I desire to be. Everyday I just find I don't really look like myself. I pick up the sword and shield to fight for every challenges in order to keep my balance to move on. I don't even know how many weaknesses and sadness I could still hide underneath my mechanical bitter smile.
My friend always said " Why do you just give others blessings but not yourself?"
I am a very protective person and it's hard to break my wall and open my heart to anyone solely because I just feel I am not good enough and I don't want to get hurt again.
Indeed, the insecure feeling kills me.
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